My Hero, My Sister

Since beginning my blog in February, I have written about my sister Shea several times. Over the last few months I have been overwhelmed by the love and support from those who have reached out to me with their kind words, prayers and memories of Shea. Last Monday Shea went to be with the Lord she loved and will never have to feel the pain of cancer again. I was blessed to be with her when she passed. 

On Saturday we held a memorial service for Shea. I wanted to share the remarks I made about my sister with those of you who couldn't attend. 

_____________________________________________

Sydney Shea Harden Bamberg

October 9, 1982 - July 22, 2013

At different points in my life I have been asked to define someone that I admire most or list my "hero." Up until a couple of years ago I never really had a definitive answer. I would answer with some random celebrity, historical or political figure. From here on out when I am asked those two questions I will say this:

My hero is my sister. Who couldn't admire someone who has more strength than all of her friends and family combined. A person that has the courage to make the tough choices when the easy ones would be so much simpler. The kind of Christian that has faith even when God’s plan doesn’t seem to make any sense. Someone who fights to the VERY end and absolutely never gives up.

My sister Shea Bamberg is the person that I admire most in this world. Shea was a good and kind person. For goodness sakes, she and Todd recycle so much that the city of Sugar Hill had to give them a larger recycling bin. When I visited and didn't recycle a can of soda she would quickly ask me why I hated the earth.

Shea and I were born just 2 years and 11 days apart so growing up I always wanted to do everything like my big sister which annoyed her but I didn't care. I thought she was so cool!

Looking back on it now, I couldn't have asked for a better role model. Shea has always been the kind of person that anyone would want to have in their life. She is loyal, thoughtful, creative, caring and quirky in her own way. There is no one else like Shea and if you need proof of that just look at her handwriting.

I will say, all of these fabulous Shea traits would go out the window when she got behind the wheel of a car. It was amazing...sweet Shea turned into this speed racer with a case of road rage but it was always entertaining. I used to ride with Shea to school and every morning I had to fasten my seatbelt and hold on tight. Shea taught me that tailgating was something more than just what people do at football games. She also could drive in reverse faster and with more precision than any other person I know. I will never forget watching her back down my parents driveway in what felt like 5th gear.

Aside from terrorizing people on the road, Shea also loved to sing. The songs in this service are ones she specifically chose. My mom always wanted one of us to inherit her love of music. She first tried with the piano but after 4 years of begging us to practice she moved on. Then she and Shea began singing together. Shea had a beautiful voice and also shared mom's love of hymns. As most of you know, Shea was a very smart girl.  She knew how much my mom enjoyed singing with her, and she would use this to get out of household chores like cleaning the kitchen. So there I was - the person with a horrible singing voice - in the kitchen cleaning alone while mom and Shea stood around the piano singing.

Some of my favorite memories of my big sister are from Friday nights at Granny's watching movies our parents wouldn't let us watch at home.  Every Friday Mom and Dad would go on date night and Granny would pick us up. We would get our favorite McDonald’s hamburgers, wrap our hair in toilet paper just like Granny did, and watch the latest PG-13 flick. 

And then there were summers spent at the cabin. Shea and I spent hours upon hours tanning to see who could get the darkest. Finally we realized our skin-tones were different, and we declared we couldn't compete any longer. I turned brown and, of course, Shea turned golden like the diva she was.  Luckily we stopped the competitive tanning – our skin thanks us for that!

Shea is known as a diva - which she declared herself. Growing up I never thought of her as a diva but my Dad reminded me that when Shea was little she would spend hours looking at herself in the mirror. She loved to put on performances and pretend she was Cinderella. She also had that "I can't be bothered with this" kind of attitude - which is probably why when asked to watch me for a few minutes when we were small, she let me eat a roly-poly.  

Now I'm not going to get into how Shea met Todd.  All I will say is that some very smart person introduced them. Todd was Shea's Prince Charming. He was the love of her life and could make her smile like no one else.  Until Ellis…Ellis is the blessing that keeps on giving.  Watching Ellis and Shea interact was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  No amount of pain could stop her from beaming at even the opportunity to hold him.  They would both light up in each other’s presence.  They had a special bond from day one that I know will remain.

Over the past few months I have had the pleasure to spend time with Shea and Todd's wonderful friends. It has blessed my heart to hear stories of how Shea has impacted other people's lives. Two things I heard over and over again were how wonderful of a listener Shea was and how great of advice she could give. This did not come as a shock to me. Shea has always been a great voice of reason. She was never a talkative person which meant when she did talk, people listened. Her motto growing up was, “make sure that you know all that you tell, but never tell all that you know.”  This is something that I will miss most – I valued her insights above all others because she knew me so well.

Over the past 28 years I learned a lot from Shea. As a child, I watched her take on the world and I tried to emulate her strength.  Most importantly I have learned to face every challenge with a smile on my face and a snickers in my hand, live life to the fullest, and never give in to fear.

The other day after a very hard week for Shea we were talking and I told her how much I was going to miss her. It was something I wanted her to know, and I didn't want to miss the chance to tell her.  She looked at me and said, "Erin, where are you going?  Don't leave." I assured her I wouldn't leave and she made me promise I would never leave her and she promised me she would never leave me. While I stood there and made that vow as she laid in a hospital bed, I knew her time on earth would soon come to an end. Shea would leave me in the physical sense. But, the impact she has made on my life and the love and admiration I have for my sister is something that will never leave me. Shea will always be a part of my life…past, present and future. We will keep that promise to each other.

Shea, je t’aime mon petit pois.  I love you my little pea and will miss you every day.