Fight Like A Girl (Part 1)

To say the past two weeks of my life have been busy would be an understatement, and I know it's not going to change any time soon. I had always heard that people who don't work sometimes stay busier than they did while working. I never believed that until now! I am exhausted but it's the good, satisfying kind of exhaustion.

As I mentioned in my last blog, my sister Shea recently had surgery and I had the pleasure to stay with her for the past two weeks. This two-part blog is going to be all about my wonderful sister.

So a little background, Shea is exactly 2 years and 11 days older than me. She was the first born and was happy as an only child and then I came and ruined her party. Hee Hee!!

I like to say we were too close in age to really be friends. Shea tolerated me and made sure her friends did the same. Just to be honest, there was no love lost and Shea made sure to keep me in my place. In her mind I should see myself as the 2nd child, not the baby.

My parents like to laugh about how when I was born Shea refused to hold me, much less look at me. She was not happy to have a little sister, apparently she loved being the only child.

Growing up, Shea always did her best to make sure I knew she was the superior child. In all honesty, it didn't take much - she is smarter and has much more artistic ability than I ever hoped for. My biggest asset was my gift of gab - I love to talk!

As I got older and Shea moved away to college, our differences lessened and we became friends. I know mom and dad probably wished we had become friends when we both lived at home, but sorry mom and dad, you can't always get what you want. By the time I graduated from college we had become very close. I will never forget how amazing Shea was in helping plan my wedding. We probably exchanged about 200 emails about bridesmaids dresses, flower arrangements and bachelorette party details!

The sister that I had always looked up to and idolized had become one of my best friends - who would have thought?

Shea and I were both very blessed as children, other than having to wear braces we never really had any medical issues, which is why it came as a huge shock when Shea was diagnosed with stage III colon cancer in December of 2010.

For a few months Shea had been dealing with some nausea, but being 28 years old, her doctors never imagined it could be a tumor in her colon. Most doctors don't recommend patients have a colonoscopy until they turn 50. Colon cancer wasn't even on their radar.

Just a few days after learning she had a blockage, Shea had a colon resection to remove the blockage which turned out to be a tumor. Just to make things more real, Shea was diagnosed at the exact age I am now - very sobering.

Following her surgery, she went through about 6 months of chemotherapy and was pronounced in remission. We were all so excited that the scary part was behind us.

In May of 2012, I received a package from Shea and Todd with a cigar for Mark and a picture of a onesie that said "I love my (picture of an ant) for me!! Mark and I were thrilled; we were getting a niece or nephew!!

In true Shea fashion, she couldn't have a simple pregnancy. Her cancer returned twice but she kept her wonderful spirit and faith that God had a plan for her and baby Ellis.

Ellis was born early at 28 weeks and he spent 2 months in the NICU. During that time Shea began her 2nd round of chemo and before her surgery on March 12th she was on her 3rd round. I really don't know how she does it!

With consultation from a lot of doctors, Shea chose to have a very intense surgery to rid her body of the cancer. Unfortunately, the surgery was not able to go as planned and the surgeon couldn't remove the tumors. This was not what anyone wanted to hear!

For the past 10 days we have been processing this information. Emotions are mixed right now. Speaking only for myself, I feel everything from being totally pissed off at God (I have been in a fight with God for a while now), questioning everything - especially my faith, and feeling guilty. I just don't know what to think, but I know that losing my faith and giving up hope for a miracle will not make me feel any better and won't make the cancer go away.

Shea has been so strong through all of this. I have always looked up to her as my big sister, but Shea as a person fighting for her life is a totally different beast- she is so brave. I respect her so much and the decisions she has made and will continue to make.

Shea - continue to fight like a girl because we all know girls fight scrappy and don't play by the rules!!

Cancer SUCKS, c'est la vie y'all!